When i ask myself ... what do i want ... lots of weird answers come into my mind.
And ... i can't stop myself talking.
I want that.
And ... that.
Also ... that.
So i keep explaining ... somehow ... missing the essential.
Unfortunately ... i do this mistake by years.
The funny thing is that ... i still can't accept that many times in life i don't get what i want ... but most probably what i deserve.
Or ... maybe better said ... what i really need to experience.
Recently ... I've started to feel that i miss the essential ... and all i actually need is ... peace.
Yes.... inner peace.
Then ... all will come by itself.
I feel that ... stronger and stronger.
And ... still can't practice this.
Say .... simple ... "Firstly ... i want peace ... cause I need peace of mind ... and peace of my soul …"
I don't deeply feel ... the importance of all that.
I know it ... theoretically.
I understand it.
But ...
Few years ago ... i was saying to Paul ... "I love the chaos. That's my life .... and i adore it."
He only smiled ... somehow saying "You're still ... idiot."
So .... maybe today i am less idiot.
I know what ... i need.
... but not want it ... strong enough.
And life continues .... saying .... I want that and that and that and that ... but missing the essential.
... peace of my mind ... and my soul.
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philosophical essays” written by the romanian writer Adrian Gabriel Dumitru for FREE.
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